


Oopportunity

by ChiaRoseKuro



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blow Jobs, Candles, Drunken Shenanigans, Gift Exchange, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Post-Graduation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:06:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22417444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChiaRoseKuro/pseuds/ChiaRoseKuro
Summary: Kakashi tries to organize a private celebration during Obito’s post-graduation party.It is, perhaps, one of hislessbrilliant plans.[ 30 Minutes to Gift - Glitter | "Oh god, it'severywhere." ]
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito
Comments: 3
Kudos: 35





	Oopportunity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beetlebee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beetlebee/gifts).



> Considering that I wrote this in the span of thirty minutes, it's best not to expect anything too deep from this - so if you're not interested in humour bordering on crack, gay drunken antics and a few throwaway lines of sexual content, the 'back' button is at your disposal and is awaiting your click. I had a lot of fun filling this set of prompts, so I'm not all that inclined towards ruining the mood by entertaining rude and unwanted comments.
> 
> Special thanks to Sloane for both providing the secondary prompts (Uchiha Obito as the focal character, champagne as the key word and vanilla as a key flavour, the latter two of which made fleeting appearances in the drabble) and organizing the event on [Kat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat)'s server, and my terrible taste in puns for the title (which is deliberately misspelled, and is a fusion of 'oops' and 'opportunistic'). I did try to incorporate vanilla sex, but thirty minutes simply wasn't enough time to get much juiciness done - so here's another take on vanilla, along with the rest of the prompts given!
> 
> [ Now with a translation in [русский](https://ficbook.net/readfic/9019477) ]

* * *

Graduation had come and gone in a blur of sounds and colours—Obito remembers the flashes of cameras, the feel of his graduation cap in his fingers and the brilliance of the setting sun, orange haloed around his cap as it’d fallen back to the ground. He’d struggled through his thesis and all the tiring degree requirements, five and a half years spent slaving away to higher education, and now…

“Come on, drink up!” Rin chirps, pressing a flute of champagne into his hand, and Obito murmurs his thanks before eyeing it askance.

How many flutes has he had by now? It’s really Granduncle Madara’s party, though it’s ostentatiously thrown for him—he’s filthy rich, and there’s probably all sorts of alcohol flowing in people’s veins now. Obito himself had toasted to his future success with one relative and the next, faces flitting through his vision as they gave perfunctory congratulations then dug into the real meat of the party.

He’s the black sheep, after all, and very few Uchiha ever deviated from a path in law or medicine. That he’d chosen engineering and arts, of all things, only made him that much stranger to the strangers his family was parading him in front of.

Strangers, mostly, except for the few friends Obito _had_ been allowed to invite.

And even as he sways almost imperceptibly on the spot, there’s a slender and familiar arm curving around his shoulders.

“Maa, Obito,” a low voice murmurs, warm breath puffing against his ear and sending tingles down his spine. “Don’t you think that’s enough for the night?”

“I thought _you_ were drowning yourself in a vat somewhere, Bakashi,” Obito snaps, though it’s not as sharp as it usually is. “Didn’t you go off to have a drinking contest with Gai or something?”

“Did I?”

Obito narrows his eyes at Kakashi’s faux-innocent expression—but before he can arrive at any sort of conclusion, Kakashi shrugs and hums, “I never knew your granduncle had so many bedrooms in his mansion. Or so many bathrooms, for that matter.”

 _Probably passed out then,_ Obito concludes, gaze shifting to Kakashi when he pulls back, and…

There’s a tantalizing hint of pink high up on his cheeks, high enough that his customary mask can’t quite conceal it, and his eyes aren’t quite as sharp as they usually are. It’s clear that Kakashi won the ill-advised drinking contest with Gai—and how they’d managed _that_ around Obito’s stuffy relatives is something he’ll have to grill his boyfriend on later—but for all that Kakashi can hold his liquor well enough, he’s not looking all there either.

It’s no decision at all, in the end, to set his flute down on the nearest table and hook his arm in Kakashi’s. A few quick tugs, an opportunistic sweep across the room and a significant look exchanged with Rin—and then they’re slipping away from the ballroom, arm in arm.

Kakashi had been faking his sobriety, Obito finds out later, when he gets a faceful of gravity-defying grey hair and the entirety of his lanky boyfriend against his side. “Bakashi, use your legs!” he hisses, but Kakashi only hums and rubs himself against Obito’s cheek.

“Mm, but you’re _warm_ ,” he slurs, clumsily tangling his limbs around Obito. “Take me to bed?” Kakashi asks next, in what he probably thinks is a seductive tone.

But for all that Obito wants to laugh at Kakashi’s inebriation, rub his clinginess in his face and dump him off in some obscure guest room to sleep off his inevitable hangover… he sighs heavily, drags his boyfriend to his room, and then—

“What the actual _fuck,_ ” Obito deadpans, staring into his room.

“I wanted to use rose petals,” Kakashi earnestly tells him, so innocent that it comes right around the other end as devious, “but you’re trying to save the planet, right? My _hero—_ ”

“So you went and used _candles_ ,” Obito snarls, glaring at the candles liberally dotting his floor with _wax_ , “which would burn and _release smoke?_ Smoke that would _set off the fire alarms?_ _Really_ , Bakashi?!”

“And I heard,” Kakashi says, rambling blithely on as though Obito hadn’t said anything at all, “that vanilla is a soothing smell. You’ve been stressed and you need all the sleep you can get—”

“Yeah, so you should’ve used _one_ lavender candle. Like a _normal person_ , Bakashi.”

A moment of silence passes.

“Ah,” Kakashi says, peeling himself off Obito’s side to scratch the back of his head. “Oops.”

“Oops?” Obito rumbles dangerously, slamming the door behind them and shoving Kakashi’s back against it. “ _Oops?_ You utter fucking idiot, how the _hell_ are we meant to get to the bed—the bed that you _want to be in_ , by the way—if the entire _floor_ is covered in _melting wax?_ And you’re going to get me to clean it all later, _aren’t you?!_ ”

“Aw, babe, don’t be mad,” Kakashi pouts—and _how_ Obito can spot his pout through his mask is a miracle in and of itself—but then he’s tugging it down and cupping Obito’s face in his hands. “I just wanted to congratulate you on your graduation. And I _did_ find a lot of candles to use, so.”

“Granduncle Madara is going to skin your hide,” Obito declares, even as Kakashi flicks his tongue out to lick across his bottom lip. “He’s going to hang it on the front door as a warning to all pranksters everywhere, and then he’s going to padlock every single storage closet in this goddamn mansion. You’d better be _proud_ of yourself, Bakashi.”

“I’d be prouder still if I could get my boyfriend off,” Kakashi slurs with a salacious wink…

And in the face of that—well.

Even when the fire alarm goes off ten minutes later, water sluicing down on their heads as screams float down the corridors towards them, Obito can’t say he dislikes Kakashi’s tongue on him.

He was an idiot, not all that great with his liquor and should _really_ consider using his brain outside of a few special circumstances… _but he gives pretty good blowjobs_ , Obito thinks to himself, tugging up his pants and roughly tugging up Kakashi’s mask too, and pulls him out the nearest accessible window so they can continue celebrating— _away_ from the wailing sirens and cloying vanilla aroma.

**Author's Note:**

> For further author notes and other things related to this fic, feel free to check out my [blog](https://chiarosekuro.wordpress.com/). Alternately, potential prompts and other sorts of inspiration can be found on my [Tumblr](https://chroku-n.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/chroku_n/) if that tickles your fancy instead - or, if you'd like your own shiny new oneshot, you can request one from me [here](https://chiarosekuro.wordpress.com/commissions/).


End file.
